Lip Service The Blog: Cheating Chronicles

Lip Service The Blog: Cheating Chronicles

I’ve said several times before that I rather my man cheat on me with 20 different women, one time each than one woman, 20 times. Of course I rather him not cheat at all but that’s asking for too much isn’t it ? Ha. I don’t condone cheating but I would be lying if I said I don’t expect it.

I think when a man cheats, most women just want to know that he isn’t leaving her for someone else. That’s devastating. The “WHY” just eats us up. If I knew my guy cheated with 20 different women just one time each then I would think he is a nasty piece of shit but for ego purposes I would just label the situation as him being obsessed with variety. I can’t be fat/skinny, tall/short and light/dark all at the same time. If you notice, guys have TWO types, “His type” and the EXACT opposite. I say this because do you ever notice that the people they cheat with are the exact opposite from you? We are usually SOOOO confused by WHY he chose HER!!!! Don’t try to figure it out. You won’t.

Men rarely have a legitimate reason for why they cheat. It’s rarely anything about his woman and if it is, it’s usually something minor that could have been worked on but instead they just roam. It’s probably nothing a little communication couldn’t have fixed. I say this because I truly feel like women usually fix the things their men complain about. We get offended but 9 times out of 10 we take heed to the criticism or request. If a man says we are lazy, never do our hair, never want to do it in the ass, or don’t clean the dishes before he comes home, by the next week we are probably running in a marathon, got a new hairstyle, waxing and lubing the asshole up, and not only washing dishes but scrubbing tiles with a toothbrush. Why, because we aren’t trying to lose him to Sally down the street.

On the contrary, women complain about the same exact problem 100 times and men rarely address our issues. Not only do they not address our issues but they find someone else who doesn’t complain about those things. So now he didn’t fix our problems AND he is cheating because I’m complaining? Meanwhile, I have probably embraced ALL of his flaws and haven’t even blinked at another man because I’m “taken.”

The good girl wears off and I have cheated the same exact way I just said I HATE to be cheated on but it has to be like this because we don’t get the same standards in this life. Now I’m not going to go FIND someone to cheat with because I got cheated on but if someone was to fall in my lap that had a bigger dick or more money than my cheating piece of shit, then he could be in trouble. I don’t “one night stand” cheat. That’s hoe shit. Ha. I get me a whole side dude. *wink* For me, cheating has to make sense because now I’m going to be called a hoe if I get caught. So if I get caught (rare) then I can’t be taunted because guess what? I don’t care anymore. Some people will ask, “Why not just leave?” That’s tricky. Usually cheaters don’t let you leave them anyway because they’re guilty. Believe it or not men rarely let you go when you admit you’ve cheated. The two reasons they don’t let you go are 1) He knows you’re okay with staying with your richer and/or bigger dick 2) He needs revenge on you now, which is crazy to me because I only cheated because he cheated and now he wants to get me back, AGAIN! What a mess!

I don’t encourage women to cheat but if you’re going to do it you have to be trill about it. The best revenge on him is to leave his ass but if you take the other route, you have to own it. Cheating on him won’t make him be remorseful for what he has done because now you will be with bad guy. That’s why I don’t condone “one night stand” cheating for women because it’s not worth it. I rather the “transition cheat.” The “cheat until you get caught and then stay with your new dude,” type cheating.  The only thing I can tell you is that if you make the CONSCIOUS decision to cheat, never show remorse. The minute they smell any regret or guilt around you, you’ve lost the war. He is going to drag you through the mud now. A man will lose his mind if you keep the poker face on after you get caught. You can’t cry. You can’t say sorry. You just have to say, “Welp, I guess it’s over now.”

The moral of the story is, “Do Unto Others.” Ha!