Lip Service The Blog: Cheat Champions!

Lip Service The Blog: Cheat Champions!

For the most part, I think it’s a unanimous decision that women are better cheaters. Why? It’s because the whole point of lying and cheating is to NOT get caught. This is why they compare men to dogs and women to cats. Dogs shit out in the open for everyone to smell and step in it and cats shit and cover it up with litter! Do you want to know the number one reason why women are better at cheating? It’s because we know people aren’t stupid, unlike men. Women don’t just say anything because we KNOW “anything” just doesn’t make sense. We follow one of the main rules of cheating, “Cover all your bases.”

My grandmother always told me that lying is a box and all FOUR corners need to be covered. That’s where men go wrong. They never cover all four corners. I don’t know if the reasons are because 1) they really don’t care about getting caught 2) they’re stupid 3) they don’t know the rules. It always amazes me how guys don’t mind going thru the same crazy drama from cheating over and over again. I know that says just as much about the women that stay with guys like that but I still want to know why men don’t ever get better at cheating.

The primary thing that pisses anyone off is when your excuse or alibi is SO weak that it makes the other person feel like you think they’re dumb. Secondly, if there’s ONE thing I HATE about men, it’s that they THINK they know someone inside out. Nobody knows anyone inside out or at least I never count on that anyway. Here are some reasons why women are better at cheating:

1) Plan- I can’t speak for all women but by the time I actually cheat on my boyfriend he’s probably already cheated on me 100 times. Don’t ask why we didn’t leave by now. That’s a whole other story. By now, this man is probably not paying attention to us even 40% so we have ALL the opportunity to cheat. It’s usually not impulsive on our part though. We might have met someone that we’ve been sneakily communicating with and are debating on going further. People may say that’s already cheating but whatever. Either way, by the time we are ready to have sex with this person, we already know it will be on Thursday, the time and place. We plan because we have to see ahead. If Thursday comes and ANYTHING is a little out of place at home, the cheating session is getting canceled because it’s just too risky.

2) Prepare for the unexpected- I would ALWAYS prepare for the “just in case” because unexpected things don’t need to happen on the day I’m cheating! Why does this occur? Because men do not cover their bases. If men think their girlfriend gets off at 6pm then that’s all they have in their minds, 6pm. Women prepare for the chance that for SOME reason he may get home at 2pm today. So they’re not going to be in their own bed at home with another man. Beyond it being disrespectful, it’s actually manslaughter worthy. Yikes!

3) Cover all bases- If women are using their best friend as an alibi they usually prepare their friend unlike men. Men will get caught and call their best friend on the spot hoping he will catch the drift. The friend has NO clue that is going on and digs a deeper grave. What a dummy!

4) Destroy all evidence – Guys are so sloppy. Do they want to keep evidence as souvenirs? Why do we find condoms, hotel keys and receipts, or articles of women’s clothing in their possession ? Why don’t men double check? Women wash, shred, change, delete, block, and every other step needed to be squeaky clean of anything incriminating.

5) Honesty- I think women are way more honest about their primary situation with men. Women claim their relationship and expect anyone new to fall in line. Not men. Men act single. Men deny their primary relationship and start a whole new one. Men just pile the stress and paranoia all on their shoulders and juggle more than they can handle.

6) Privacy – Everything he may THINK he knows about my man, he doesn’t. I don’t give a lover any info about my boyfriend because I KNOW that guy’s egos make them VERY competitive. He won’t know what he looks like. He won’t know what he drives. He won’t know where he lives, works or how to find him. Unlike men. Men are the bigger pillow talkers believe it or not. Women ALWAYS know tooooo much information about his primary relationship. It’s because men have volunteered too many small bits of info that has been enough for women to put the pieces together and track his girlfriend or wife down.

7) Don’t be obvious- it’s very obvious that a man is cheating when he changes how he acts at home. Not wanting to have sex, sneaking to text, no activities, or no affection are obvious signs that someone is cheating. Women are better at not being obvious because they’ll ignore their lover while they’re with their mate especially since she’s been HONEST about her primary situation.

8) Cheat in large degrees of separation- Women will cheat with men who are in totally different worlds, age brackets and locations. Men will cheat with the next door neighbor, his girlfriend’s friends and coworkers or someone at his own job. Men don’t understand the idea of “off limit pussy.” Nobody is off limits to them. If they have the opportunity, they will take it.

9) Cheat UP! – My personal rule is to cheat with people I wouldn’t mind staying with if I were to get caught. Here’s the thing, if you cheat UP, a man won’t leave you because now he is so scared that you are going to be happy with this new guy. If you cheat down then he treats you like shit and drags you thru the mud because his ego isn’t crushed. If a woman cheats with someone bigger, taller, sexier, richer, more fashionable, etc, her man is NOT going to break up with her. Two totally opposite outcomes could happen though. He is either going to stay with you and treat you better now that he’s gotten a reality check or he is going to stay with you to make you pay for hurting his ego and keep you FAR away from the person she liked. Be careful!

What are some other reasons why women are better cheaters than men? Give an example of sloppy cheating that you have experienced!