How to save a relationship…

So many people are at war in their relationship. People are constantly arguing, constantly trying to WIN the argument and constantly trying to gain the power. Many people are forcing relationships out of familiarity but are not doing to work to keep it healthy. Here are some suggestions to help revive your relationship.

1) Listen- I think it’s very common that people want to be listened to but don’t want to listen themselves. When you listen you will hear the answers to many of your questions AND some information about how to be gain all the bonus points. Men and women are very different in expressing feelings and information. Women tend to repeat themselves a lot while men say things subtly and usually only once.

2) Apply- After listening you need to actually DO something with the information instead of letting it go in one ear and out the other. A relationship is EFFORT. Two people saying they’re together but not doing anything for or with each other is a dormant situation. It’s not fulfilling.

3) Don’t cheat your partner- A lot of people think that while they work on their relationship they can fill the voids with other people simultaneously. AKA… cheat. You can’t work on a relationship if you’re not giving 100%. You can NOT give 100% being deceitful, sneaky and dividing your time up with other romantic situations. Stop lying to yourself that it’s not affecting your relationship because it is.

4) Ask- Ask your partner what can you do to make things better. See if you are capable of granting the wishes. You MAY not be able to but be realistic with yourself about what the problems are. Ask YOURSELF if you are WILLING to do the things that your partner has asked for. You may be capable of it but are you WILLING?

5) Patch up the insecurities- Let’s assume that the person you’re in a relationship has reasonable reasons to be insecure and NOT just an extreme maniac. Be cognizant of you hiding your phone, lying, or excluding your partner all the time.

6) Pick your battles- At some point you have to accept certain things about people and stop trying to change him or her. Everyone can’t and won’t be who YOU want them to be. Ask yourself is this complaint that you’ve mentioned 100 times already a deal breaker? Take it or leave it. Stop nagging and complaining.

7) Omit Sex- Take a break from sex to see if that’s the only thing holding the relationship together. See if you can enjoy each other without sexual acts for a while. If some time goes by and there’s no sex and nothing else positive happens then maybe that’s all you two have in common.

8) Counseling – People frown upon counseling but both people in the relationship usually think they’re right. It’s much better to have a third party identify things that you may disregard from your mate. Counseling allow you to access compatibility and common goals.