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Lip Service The Blog: Can guys and girls be platonic?

One of the most heavily debated questions is “Can men and women be platonic friends?” I’ve answered “YES” for years because saying “NO” makes it seem like every relationship we have with the opposite sex is ultimately a long drawn out way to have sex.
Guys are the FIRST ones to say “NO, guys and girls can not be platonic.” They say all guys want to have sex with their so-called girl friends. My response is always “So you want to fuck all these girl friends that you told me you’re just cool with?” Of course they deny it. “So all the guys I mention want to have sex with me but you don’t want to have sex with all your girl friends ? Aren’t you a guy? Doesn’t that include you also? So should I not let you have any girl friends? Did you have sex with ALL of them?” Hmmmm.

I think I’ve figured it out though. First let me say this. The best men/women friendships are the ones that continued after you tried to be together briefly and it immediately didn’t work out. Those relationships didn’t last long enough to hate each other or have emotional baggage attached. I think these relationships are the best guy and girl friendships because you’ve already eliminated the sexual tension and all the “what ifs.” You got the answer. You’re satisfied with the results and now you can continue to be friends having explored all the other possibilities. This is how it goes ESPECIALLY when the sex is horrible. You probably even get mad at yourself and ask WHY did you cross the line for THAT. It’s so easy to go back to being friends after that because you never want to have sex with him or her again anyway. It was nothing like you had imagined.

I finally understand WHY people say there’s no such thing as platonic friendships between men and women. It’s the “what ifs” that make it so risky. The UNKNOWN factor of the physical chemistry or perfect love story is the curiosity that kills the cat. Not to mention the idea that people think that because they’re such good friends they know the person well enough to have the perfect relationship with him or her.

Have you ever thought that to yourself? Have you ever said to yourself, “I know everything about him or her so I know what I’m in for?” This is the worst way of thinking. Number one, you know them as a friend, not a lover. Secondly, every relationship, intimate or platonic is case specific. Seeing them interact with other lovers is NOT the best indicator of how they would be with you. People do not think that deeply about it though. Actually, I think men and women think totally different about it all together. I think women think about a relationship with their fake bestie and men think about sex with their fake bestie. UNLESS, the man is attractive or somehow she stumbled upon finding out how big or good his dick is. I can see a woman saying, “He’s my best friend and he has a big dick. I know we would be perfect together.” Ha.

On the contrary, for most men, they would fuck you if you let them, got drunk with them or made a pass at him. But be careful, because this is where it gets very awkward. It usually goes dead for a week to a month after this. You don’t know how to face each other. Then one of you finally contacts the other like nothing ever happened, never bring it up and finally become the best of friends for real.

For the people who will argue that they’ve been good friends with someone for years and have never done anything sexual with each other, if it’s not you then the other person has been fighting tooth and nail to not cross the line. So now I finally understand why men say there’s no such thing as platonic friendships because it’s not about NOT having sex with each other it’s about the opportunity or possibility of it happening which doesn’t make it a “genuine” friendship.

What do you think?